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October 30, 2008

Frustration

It's Parent-Teacher conference time again, I hate them, and today was Bethany's. I always get so emotional during her conferences because I am frustrated with her learning. I tried so hard not to cry the whole time but I couldn't hold it all back.

She's in 3rd grade this year and is still on kindergarten entrance level. She is completely lost in class. I don't know how to help her, I don't know what to do. Every test we've ever had done has always come back normal. I'm stuck, she's stuck. No one knows how to help her. The teacher admitted that she doesn't have time to spend one on one with her. I know that, there are 18 other kids in the class.

I blame myself, I do, I try to tell myself it's not my fault that she's this way, but I always come back to blaming myself. I didn't pay enough attention to her when she was little. When she needed me, I wasn't there, I was working or depressed. Then there was the divorce. It's my fault. I feel like the worst Mother ever.

I want so much to take her out and home school her but I just don't know where to begin and expecting again and having a three year old. I just don't think I can do it, I wouldn't be able to devote one on one time with her.

Sorry for the pity party.

7 comments:

julie said...

Oh Angie, I know how frustrating this can be. I know we have talked about this before, I wish I had some better wisdom for you.

I am going to assume she has been tested by the school pyschologist and every other therapist around. We have so many rights to differnet tests that the schools don't like to tell us about because they cost money. What state do you live in? Email me your info and I'm going to see what I can find out for you. I have a friend that is a school principal and I was astounded at all the options we as parents have that we are never told about. I will try and help.

Julie

Jodi said...

Can't you request an aide to come and help her more one-on-one in the classroom? Or maybe it would be good to hire a tutor to help her get more caught up with her class.

I highly doubt that anything you did would cause her to be behind in her class.

Just keep looking and asking and searching for help. Someone is out there to help you just haven't found them yet.

(((HUGS)))

Octamom said...

So sorry it was such a tough day--we do beat ourselves up when our kids go through tough times. I'll be praying for you as you seek the Lord on the best place for her to be learning.

Hugs and blessings~

jolincountry said...

Oh Ang, Don't blame this all on yourself. I'm sure it's nothing you've done to cause her to be behind. If that were true, then all of your children would most likely be behind.
I agree with the other comments, let them let you and find something that will work for her.
I'll keep you and her in my prayers.

Deanna

PB&J's Mommy said...

Oh Angie, I hate that you beat yourself up over something that is not your fault! You have been the best mother possible to Bethany and you love her unconditionally. Just don't give up and keep searching, there is someone out there that will be able to help. Hang in there!!

les_mason_curt said...

BLess your heart, I wish I had some words of encouragement, but I am empty! I would just keep praying for her, God will put her in the place she needs to be... I know you believe that!

Rosie : ) said...

My best friend's child had a few learning problems in her school too, and it wasn't until she changed her school, got her in a better program, with the option to have a helper come into the class to help her, that she improved.

Is it possible tohave the school give you someone to help her out? Even teacher's aide sometimes are trained to help out. I wish I knew more about the US school system, but in Canada, it seems different.