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December 9, 2008

Another year, another birthday gone by...

Bethany's birthday was this past Friday and it's so sad to see that only one parent shares in the joy of her birth, or the birth of any of the kids. Her Dad didn't even call her or send a card to wish her a happy birthday. It's been two years or more now I guess since they have spoken to or even saw their Dad.

I have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that anyone can just abandon their child. Sure we live in a different state now but how hard is it to pick up the phone and call your kids? I used to make it a point to remind their Dad about this or that. I'd even call him on his weekends to see if he was going to get them. Most of the time he'd lie and say that he was on his way and never show up. Wouldn't even call to give some lame excuse. I don't waste my breath anymore. I am not even really sure where he lives. I only have the address of his brother and when we moved here I mailed a letter giving our new address and phone numbers. So he is well aware of where the kids are. In fact, none of his family calls the kids or acknowledges their existance. So sad.

It breaks my heart to hear from friends and family that he tells everyone how he sees the kids all the time and talks to them on the phone. Or they spent the entire summer with him. Thankfully, everyone knows the truth now, well atleast the important people do. That I do not keep the kids from him or took them away. When we lived 10 minutes from him he still couldn't make it to pick them up on his weekends. So what's 4 hours? Nothing when you didn't see them to begin with.

The kids don't even ask anymore. They don't ask about him at all. And I'm glad. They used to wonder why when they'd call and leave messages that he'd never call them back, oh, I'm sorry, he did a few times a long time ago.

I feel that if I have to remind him to see his kids then it's not worth it. You should want to see them.

Thanks for reading... just had to get some of this off of my chest.


Marymont Springs said...

Big hugs to you and Bethany! My Dad is the same way. I have not talked to him since we were home over the summer. He never calls and it's just something I have learned to deal with and heck I'm 32! It sucks but she has you and it's better to have someone who loves you in your life than have someone who just shows up when he wants to.......Trust me!

Rosie : ) said...

It saddens me that families get broken up and the kids suffer so much. Kids deserve to have both parents love them unconditionally for their whole lives.

It's very nice how she's a stable environment, with a step-dad as her father figure, but it is sad that her biological dad isn't making time for her in his life.

The Todd's said...

It is so sad when a parent acts like that. I'm so sorry that you and your kids have to deal with it.

Julie said...

I am so with oyu - but it is the mom who doesnt have much to do with her son! i so feel your pain and anguish and I am so grateful that we can pray and get it out and give it to him!!! i can't speak of these things on my blog because my stepson reads it sometimes so I am very thankful to be able to leave lengthy comments on your blog knowing that you nor i am alone in these feelings!!!

PB&J's Mommy said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I had some magical uplifiting words to make it all better but the reality is (and I speak from personal experience) is that you can not control the actions of the other parent. But YOU CAN just be the best parent YOU can be ... and that of which you are for Beth.