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November 14, 2008

Ways To Ditch Your Kids With Style...

Write the wrong address in your kids underwear and take them to the mall and drop them off. When you don't return to pick them up, they will take them to someone else's house. (I've thought about this many times with my 15 yr old)

Have a big yard sale and put two for one signs on your kids, oh, don't forget the free sticker! (Also have them sign a no return policy for the ones who backtalk)

When you drop your kids off at Middle School, jump out of the car and run around in your housecoat and give your kids a big ole Mommy hug & kiss and wave bye to them, but don't leave until they get inside the school. (This is a guarantee'd runaway tactic)

Hang your laundry to dry on your front porch, don't forget to put their underwear in front for all to see. (Your kids would never speak to you again) Hmm....

Have a 1-800 number embroidered on the back of all their clothes and coats saying... How am I behaving followed by the number to call to report their attitudes.

When dining out, don't forget their bibs. And when they get food on their face, lick your finger and wipe it off. (This always makes them move out faster)

*Do not try this at home, these tactics were performed by a professional*


jolincountry said...

After the morning we've had.. I might consider this...

Danie Nicole said...

i can't wait to have kids!! lol.